Motivation

I have a new motivation.
And that is, Mom, to prove you wrong. I DO give a shit about my grades. And maybe they're not good enough on your eyes, but I am who I am. I make mistakes. I sometimes forget to do homework, or maybe I'm tired and don't have the energy to do it. But I'm still your daughter. Where's your unconditional positive regard? Am I a failure in your eyes?

Well, you know what? I'm only doing well in school because YOU want me to. I don't do it for me, like you always say I do. I don't, I don't care about school. Honestly, I couldn't care less which college I get into. I don't care if I even go to college. I do this because I love you. But you don't love me enough to look past my imperfections. "I want you to look at this, look at your grades, and feel bad."
Who the hell says that? I have straight A's, other than that one C. I'm not good at math. I've never been good at math. I never will be good at math. That's just who I am.
I'm sorry I can't be the well-rounded person you so desperately want me to be. But I promise you this, I'll do my best in school, like you say I do, I'll do it for me. I'll do it so I can get the chance to go wherever the hell I want. Whatever school I want after high school, I'll do it so I can get there. Trust me, it won't be any school near you though. I love you, but I can't stand this anymore.

Sometimes in life, when you love someone, you do things that make them happy. Sometimes you act that smile to fool them into thinking that you're fine. But you know it, when you're alone, you're not happy. That smile you put on is fake, and everyday, you live knowing you have to wake up in the morning, and put on that same stupid act, just for the happiness of others.