With all this testing going on, it's hard to have time for myself to clear my head. In attempt to achieve some peace of mind, I walked home from church yesterday after second shift. Aside from the heavy shoulders and the sore feet, my walk home was enjoyable. I was already drained because I had been out the whole day. I got a lot of thinking done at that time too. But what I remember most from my walk home was this one moment. I was walking down my street and I suddenly stopped out of nowhere and looked to the sky. It was like something took over me. I heard a voice within me ask me, "What wouldn't you give up to be with God?" My mind drew a blank. I couldn't think of anything. At that moment, I would've given up anything and everything.
Reality set in again. I was only a few minutes from my house. I sighed and walked on. Life continues. This repetitive, monotonous life still drives on.
For the past few weeks, I've been getting this urge to just pack up and leave this small town cluttered with conformity and uniformity. I wanted to be out there with nature. Much less extreme than transcendentalism, of course. "I've sucked the marrow out of..." Orange County. I just need to be somewhere where my curiosities can roam free and take me to the some place spontaneous. Someone, take me away. Let's just get lost in ourselves.
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