Thanksgiving

Okay. Thanksgiving is like, my favorite holiday! Why? It's not a gift giving holiday. Cheap? No (well, yes), but sometimes we fail to recognized all the little things in life that brought us here. And so we need a day to just step back from all the hassles in life and just... give thanks :)
Since I won't be here tomorrow ): I'll do this blog today.
I AM THANKFUL FOR:
(Oh, the cliches first)

1. God
2. Family
3. Best friends
4. Service men and women
5. Clothes
6. Food/Water
7. Shelter
8. Teachers 

(And then the personal stuff)

1. My auntie Julie
2. SCLT<3
3. SC2
4. My HC1A class (they're so cuuutee :] )
5. For those who have impacted my life postively
6. For those who have negatively
7. CGA;THJ
8. DBX buddies
9. Music
10. Entertainment
11. Prayers
12. Life

Lastly, I'm thankful for Thanksgiving itself. Without it, we'd take a lot of things for granted(, unfortunately, we already do). But it's okay. Thanksgiving comes every year :) So thank you Native Americans for helping the Pilgrims ;D

Cool

I wonder whoever came up with "Cool." Don't you? Haha.
Whoever came with it? Saying "Hey, I'm cool!" Rofl... So where the heck did it come from?
URBAN DICTIONARY:
Cool -

1. awesome
2. popular; like in a social hierarchy
3. used when a conversation goes silent
4. nice
5. wicked (new england stlye, NOT evil= wicked)
6. good or great
7. not warm, but not cold
8. okay with each other, not mean to each other, but not necessarily nice, just not mean

1. That new bike is cool.
2. That kid Andrew is really cool.
3. SILENCE..........That's cool.
4. He gave me his lunch when i forgot mine; he's really cool.
5. Thats cool new.
6. A. You were cool in Halo 2.
6. b. That sandwich looks cool.
7. My ice-cream is cool.
8. After the argument, Bill asked Andrew, "We cool?", and Andrew replied, "Ya, we cool."

 

Haha. So back to what I really wanted to say.

Things have been cool lately. Everything's really chill. And by lately, I mean, just this week. But I'm glad :) This is a big weekend coming up for me. A lot is going on. OMG, I absolutely CANNOT wait for Thanksgiving. It's one of my favorite holidays of all time :D 7 days in countdown!

Lackadaisical

It's a place where everything is so wrong, but it feels right. I'm able to say, "It doesn't matter anymore," and it really doesn't. So lackadaisical, I don't even mind. Haha, isn't that ironic? Hm, drawing at a blank. I really have nothing to say.

On another note...

It's been a long time since I've had butterflies. It was scary at first. Now I'm just enjoying the view :)





Indecisive.

Nowhere

Gosh. I feel like, getting on the fastest train, riding it until I'm pleased with everything in my life. Letting it take me to who knows where. And when I get there, I wouldn't care how I ended up. If I'd lose my sanity, I wouldn't care. I'd be in the state where nothing matters. For those moments, everything and everyone else can wait. It'd be the moment where I'd break down. I'd break into pieces, not caring if I would be able to put myself back together. All the norms of society, I couldn't care less about it. If I were to have just that one moment, I'd be okay.

White Lines

Inspiration 2009, I learned;
There will always be white lines separating you between

• What will be, what could have been.
• What you think is right, what is actually right.
• What you think is wrong, what is actually wrong.
• Becoming more, becoming less.
• Fulfilling yourself, killing yourself.
• Your world, reality.
  

As I said, I'm in the in between. Always.
I'm home now; so what happens next? I'm always afraid of returning back to life. To reality. When I come home from an event, whether it be SCRC, Inspiration, etc, I always find myself turning back to old ways. Like MH said, it's like your joy received from being at that place is being sucked out of you the moment you leave that place. It's already happening.

Last night, I was praying for my vocation. I don't know if it's God's way of answering, and if it should be, then I'm both happy and disappointed. I guess it takes more than just one night though...

GMH

Screw FMyLife.com
GivesMeHope.com <3

Several years back, I passed by an elderly man with crutches hobbling onto an interstate on-ramp. I stopped and asked the man if I could give him a ride. He said "Yes, I'm just going to the next exit to visit my wife." When I get to the next exit, I dropped him off at the cemetery. His neverending love GMH.

My Dad had a heart attack and severe amnesia from hitting his head. While I was with him in the hospital, he was sleeping in a chair, all hooked up to IV's and such, and I was napping in his bed. I woke up to him taking care of me because he thought I was the patient. His unconditional love GMH

While at the store I noticed a man that was obviously mentally challenged. He wanted a free balloon that they give out to kids. They were out. A girl about 5 noticed him crying and walked up to him and said "here mister. you can have mine!" The look on his face was priceless. That girl GMH.

One night, my dad told my family we should all pray for my cousin who is serving in Afghanistan. We later found out that around the same time, he ran over a bomb in his vehicle with 4 other soldiers. All five of them survived with only scratches. Prayer GMH.

When I was little, I started crying because I didn't have enough money to buy my lunch and I was hungry. My teacher gave me her lunch that day, and pooled money from the teachers to put enough money in my lunch account to get lunches for the rest of the year. She GMH.

My friend's younger brother just came out of 5 weeks of coma. When asked him what had "woken him up" he replied "I heard mom crying and I had to comfort her". GMH

A 5 year old boy in my town had leukemia. His wish for Make-a-Wish was to spend a day with Corbin Bleu (an actor in High School Musical), and he had a blast. Yesterday was the boy's funeral. Corbin flew in to our town with his dad and attended the funeral as a pallbearer. His selflessness GMH

Today, my teacher was telling us a story about her friend's adopted son and how he got picked on for it. One day at school a boy went up to him and said, "I came from my mommy's tummy, where did you come from?" knowing the boy was adopted. His response? "I came from my mommy's heart." He was 6 years old at the time. This GMH

At my school, there is a girl who was born a dwarf and she went to the dance. For most of the night, she sat by herself in a corner 'cause she was too small to dance with anyone. Then a boy off the baseball team asked her to dance. He got onto his knees so they could dance comfortably together. GMH!

Last Christmas i was shopping and my little sister had her eyes on a teddy bear. A middle aged man in front of us handed her the money for the bear and said "my wife and i stopped buying gifts for eachother. Instead, we make strangers happy." people like him GMH.

When I was in elementary school, my parents never put any of those cute "I Love You" notes in my lunch and I had always really wanted them. When my friend found out about this, she made me a lunch and crammed over 150 notes in it telling me how special I was. We are both freshmen in college. Her Kindness GMH

Calling

I'm at the age in my life where I really have to consider what I want to do with my future. I used to be afraid thinking about it, I think I still am. I think it's just because I don't want to screw it up somehow. I know there's not always the possibility of fixing something whenever you want to. So what have I planned for my future? Nothing. Well... nothing stable yet. I'm always in the in-between. Current: majors. But what if there's something else?

Lately, I've seriously been thinking about a religious calling. I don't believe that God has called me yet, but what if He does? What if I don't notice His calling? What if I'm too unaware. I'm so confused as to what God wants me to do. I've been asking people if they could picture me being a religious sister. 8/10 said no. Even my little sister can't imagine me being one. I asked her just last night, and she replied, "No, you're too pretty." Well, I didn't know that religious sisters are supposed to be ugly...

I feel like whatever I choose to do, there will always be something missing. If God calls me to a religious life, then I will always be missing out on a husband and having my own children. If I'm called to a matrimony life, then I will sometimes be strayed away from my faith. If I'm called to a single life--I will be missing both. I, like other people I asked, always thought that I was going to get married. Always always, there was never another option for me. But now, I just don't know.

So here I am to lay everything down to God. Let him be of judgment. Whatever he chooses, I will comply. I wholeheartedly wish that I had no doubts for what He has planned for me, but I just don't have that total assurance.

So for those who thought I was just playing around when I asked this question, I'm not. I'm serious.