Truth Is

I'm afraid to love. I'm afraid to go through the "typical Asian love". I don't want to be blinded by what I think is love, get married, have children, face all these differences, then end up like my parents. I don't want to fall in love with the wrong person. I want real romantic love. Not the kind of love that my parents have. Sure, they love each other, but not in the way that a marriage should contain love. Sometimes I think, Asians just aren't meant to love. Arranged marriages go way back in our culture. You think you love them...? Or is it a forced love? I don't want to get married and grow apart. I don't want to have to sit in my room, thinking about what's on my hustband's mind, wonder where he's at, wonder if he still "loves" me. I don't want to have to cry my eyes out because I picked the wrong person for love. I don't want to have to blame love for decieving my heart. I know marriages will face disappointment, anger, arguments, fights, crying, pain... I know all of that is unavoidable. I just don't want to have to grow old and feel like we're so far apart we have to sleep in separate rooms and live different lives. I wish I could feel self secured enough to take a chance at love, but I can't. I just hope... I don't fall in what I think is love. I hope that any guy that thinks he's fallen for me realize that I can't be loved. I hope he falls out of love.