Prevail

We're there for the comfort. Ugly words. Aren't they? And yet every bit of truth rings in those words. I wish they didn't. We weren't always like this. The hot palms clenched with rage. The sore throats from the fighting. I once knew a time when we were happy.
Most people call it the honeymoon phase. Well, that trip has long passed for us, hasn't it? I remember directly after that, we went into a horrible slump. The fights were intense and daily. Things were so ugly. But we managed to turn them around.
Then you left me. You left me for duty, you said. And I fell in love again. The distance rejuvenated my heart. When you left, you have no idea what I went through. The depression cut very deep into my soul. I threw myself into work, but I could not do it. I cried so many times. I remember I used to lay in your bed, and smell you in your sheets. Remember you and I'd cry and cry and cry and you would fade from pillows. I would fall asleep and dream of you and I'd wake up when I heard you call my name. But you weren't there. Those were my darkest times.
When you came back, we fell in love all over again. But that last a couple weeks. We came back to comfort. Which isn't all that bad, but we cannot possibly survive off just that.
Now here we are. I wish a new us would submerge from all this. This is our last chance. We have no more. Some things we need to try hard at and work for them but then again, sometimes things should come just naturally. Here's hoping we prevail.

Beyond Eyes

Senior year, I never felt closer to God. After that school year ended, I found myself having trouble finding Him after getting into a new relationship with my current boyfriend. Now, I realize that God never left, because I've never seen God in someone the way I see my boyfriend. I have a man that respects me, who loves me, who would fight and die for me, who will defend my honor with no hesitation. I never would have imagined my life with Timothy Hoang, and now, I cannot possibly imagine life without him. So to the author of this love story, thank you. We couldn't have done this without You.

An Illusion of the Heart

Sometimes I wonder if you ever loved me. You said you did. You do. You always will. So what is it now?
Let's admit it; we're not the same people we were. All the things that we've gone through have made us more emotional, raw, different. But through all that, I tried my best to see you through the same eyes I had to begin with. I couldn't.
We were too different then. We are too different now. It's too late to save us, to salvage us. I wonder if there ever was an "us".
I saw "us". You saw "you". I guess that's plain as that.

Most People Don't Know Of A Love Like This

Most people don't know of a love like this, the kind that makes hair attend to a conversation, in hushed tones and in raging fights.
Most people don't know of a love like this, the kind that brings perspiration to the brow, in matters of intimacy and conflict.
Most people don't know of a love like this, the kind that kidnaps eyes from truth, blinded by love and anger.
Most people don't know of a love like this, the kind that wrinkles noses, in hopes of attracting and retreating.
Most people don't know of a love like this, the kind that demands loyalty from ears, consistent and inconsistent with desired words.
Most people don't know of a love like this, the kind that purses lips, creating a kiss and an unforgivable phrase.
Most people don't know of a love like this, the kind that raises arms, in embrace and rejection.
Most people don't know of a love like this, the kind that tightens hands, held by another and clenched hot.
Most people don't know of a love like this, the kind that rushes blood to the fingers, simply touching and devouring.
Most people don't know of a love like this, the kind that aches the waist, in remembrance of a significant half and labor for love.
Most people don't know of a love like this, the kind that calls strength to the legs, in retaliation and in striving for acceptance.
Most people don't know of a love like this, the kind that paces feet, bringing it together and breaking it apart.
Most people don't know of a love like this, the kind that scrunches toes, in passion and hate.
Most people don't know of a love like this, the kind that is in no way near perfect, yet so consumed in imperfection that perfection seeks to replicate its flaws.
Most people don't know of a love like this, the kind of love that we have, you and I.

Alone Time

Lately, it's what all my time has consisted of: alone time. It sucked me in and made me its own. It swallowed me whole and consumed my thoughts. I am not my own. I am a slave to it.

Looking for my out. Help.

Caged In Just Messages

What can I tell in actuality, when all we've ever known is caged in just messages?
What can I tell from that screen I look at everyday?
Because nothing is raw, nothing is real.
There is no emotion, no truth, nor lie.
There is just what I want to believe that you tell me.
Empty words? I don't know; give me something to acredit for.
Part of me doesn't want to know you, or to meet you
Only to keep believing all I've heard.
The other is screaming inside, fear, wanting to know the truth.
Are you what everyone says you are? Or are you more?
Less?
I'm jumping in now,
I hope you'll catch me.

Detached

Today, I really needed a friend.
And then I realized... I don't have any. It seems like they can all call me or aim me up or text me when they need me, but once in a long while when I need them, they don't call me or reply to my IMs, or text me back.

I just really need someone...
I'm going to go to church now.